“What’s for you shall not pass you.”

I have never really believed in a higher power, or that someone up above has a plan for me. I like to think that I am in charge of what lies ahead, my own pilot in this journey called life. That was until recently.

After finishing school in December 2012, I made the decision to go “all in” with triathlon, and see what I can make of myself. Since earning my pro license in 2009, I have had amazing opportunities traveling the world to compete, and have enjoyed every minute. Triathlon has enriched my life in so many ways, and for that I am incredibly fortunate. 

After graduation, making the decision to pursue sport as my career was a big one, with much thought put in to it. I chatted with old coaches, friends, family, and realized that if I don’t go after my dreams, I will definitely regret it down the road and always wonder “what if?”

That being said, I can’t say that it has been the transition I hoped for. I didn’t think that miraculously after committing full-time to sport I would become the best in the world, but I have struggled to transfer all the hard work into race performances I am proud of. What I have done, however, is keep at it despite every road block I have encountered. Perhaps the biggest test of character has been the most recent obstacle- the Boulder flooding. 

As the water washed through my apartment, taking a majority of my belongings with it, I felt helpless and out of control. I purposely avoided going back to my apartment because I was in denial about all the damage and what I had lost. Thankfully, my apartment manager scheduled a meeting, and recruited friends to help me save as much as I could. Four hours of solid assembly line work later, I had garbage bags filled with dirty, drenched clothes, jewelry, and random things we were able to salvage. Perhaps the first  sign of a light at the end of the tunnel was what happened next.

My apartment manager’s friend, Traci Hoops, and her husband, Rich and daughter, Payton, had come to help me that day and invited me back to their home to run laundry loads and try to save some clothes. I followed them back to their home and found some of my things already hanging up to dry in their garage. I felt incredibly overwhelmed with how kind and generous these people were to me- I have never been one to accept help easily. This entire process has left me realizing that it is okay to let others help you in big ways, and I am eternally grateful to Hoops family for taking me in. Traci and Rich have four daughters (an environment I am very familiar with as one of four girls), and I have found it amazing how parallel my world is to theirs, making me feel very much at home. Traci invited me to stay until I figure out my plans, and I can’t help but think that our worlds collided for a reason.

Since the flood, I have had so many conflicting emotions: gratitude, sadness, appreciation, stress, happiness, confusion, and exhaustion. I used training as a way to get away from it all and clear my head. I went for some bike rides with good friends, and felt liberated as the wind blew over my face. I went swimming and enjoyed feeling the sun on my back, and the serenity in moving through the water. 

I decided to end my 2013 season due to a knee injury and all that I have been going through lately. I can’t help but see this flood as an opportunity to cleanse, appreciate and grow as an individual. I am putting my energy into doing all the things I can never do when I am busy training, as well as planning for 2014. 

While going through a garbage bag full of dirt and belongings, I came across a bracelet that my mom sent me after breaking my elbow earlier this season. I ran it under water to get the mud off, and turned the charm over. Dangling from the bracelet the charm read “What’s for you shall not pass you.” 

I know that this season has been a true test for me as an athlete, and an individual, and I am confident in being able to come out the other side stronger. I have a feeling that the stars will align and what is for me is just around the corner. I can't wait.

Perspective

I am sitting here in my friends apartment watching the rain fall outside and thinking about how difficult the past few days have been. A disaster like this one in Boulder makes you really put things in to perspective.

After my bike crash early June, I spent a long time rehabbing and getting healthy. I went to REV3 Maine after two months away from racing- and I was really excited to get back out there again. I raced okay, but walked away frustrated with a costly mechanical on the bike, and disappointed with the result. The weekend was a lot of fun with OTF Multisport, and our team had a big showing. I also got to catch up with Kurt Perham, my first triathlon coach. Throughout the years, he has always remained a mentor and good friend, so I was really excited to meet up.

Photo from the run in Maine.

I went home to Connecticut for a week, and as always, the time with family was much needed. We went to Rhode Island to see some of my mom's side of the family on Labor Day, a bittersweet feeling without my Grandma being there. My mom insisted on getting some family photos down by the beach- it is rare that we are all together, and photos are always a great way to savor the memories.

The fam. 

Since then, I have been preparing for the Pacific Grove triathlon and the Las Vegas Super Sprint. When I was home in CT I began to develop an old knee injury, which I think came from the combined stress of riding lots of steep hills (the riding where I live in CT is brutal!) and also from running on the roads (Boulder spoils me with trails). I have had the injury before, so I know how to deal with it and what it takes to get healthy again. This unfortunately means I won't be racing this weekend at Pac Grove, and most likely not in Vegas either. This season has certainly been filled with frustration- I felt like I was coming in to good form leading up to Edmonton, then the bike crash happened, now injury is putting me on the sidelines. However, after the past few days here in Boulder, I think the injury was a blessing in disguise.

I was supposed to leave on Wednesday for CA, but decided I wouldn't be able to race, and instead was able to be here to deal with the Boulder floods. My apartment is completely ruined, but I did get home from errands on Wednesday evening in time to get a lot of it raised. If I had left to race, I would have come home to a really really bad situation. Now, after staying at a friends place for the past few days (Thank you Kevin Collington and Lindsey Jerdonek), I am a bit scared to go back and see what further damage was caused by the flooding. Last time I left my apartment the water was 5-6 inches deep throughout the inside, but I got word from my apartment manager that 2-3 feet of water is pooled outside my apartment door and no one can get in to pump it out. (YIKES!) I am just hoping that 2-3 feet of water is not also inside my apartment.

Regardless, with this horrible disaster in Boulder, I have been reminded that things are just things, and the way people have come together to help others is truly remarkable. The next few weeks will be interesting as I am able to assess the extent of damage to my place and my personal belongings, but I know everything will be ok.

I am hoping to get healthy for Cozumel in October- I had a great, fun race in Cancun last year, so Mexico is a place I would love to return to. Until then, amidst the frustration with injury and flooding, I must remind myself to focus on the positive and keep moving forward, one day at a time.

Jessica