Finding peace

The past few months haven't been the most fun, but I've chosen, yet again, to learn from the obstacles in my life verse being bitter about them. Not to say that has been easy....at all.

Leading in to Chengdu and Yokohama I was in lifetime best shape after making the decision with Darren to stay put on the Gold Coast for the final phase before these races. It wasn't an easy phase- training was hard, the squad was gone, and I had to create my own energy every day in training. It was a good test both physically and mentally, and I'm proud of the work I put in, and the athlete I became in the process. I had done everything I could to prepare for competition, and I felt more ready than ever to execute. This is the best feeling before a race, and I was extremely calm and relaxed....at peace. 

Long story short, I got quite sick shortly after my arrival in China and had to withdraw from Chengdu. I was gutted, but quickly directed my focus to the following weekend- another opportunity to demonstrate all the hard work I had put in since WTS Gold Coast.

I started the race in Japan, but withdrew on the bike when I couldn't keep fluids down. Devastated. 

When I arrived in France to try and prepare for London, I knew something was still very wrong. A week later I was on a plane back to CT, and a few days after that I got test results back that were positive for Campylobacter, a nasty bacterial infection that had been swarming in my gut for nearly four weeks. 

It's hard to explain the emotions I experienced following all of this. When you invest yourself completely in a preparation, and the build up is to nothing at all, it's heart breaking. As I sat in my room at home recovering, day by day, I felt the fitness I had worked so hard for slipping away. With that, I saw my plans of competing at the test event in Rio diminishing as well. 

So, when it looked like I wouldn't be in shape to really compete in Rio, and not just participate, I pulled my name from the list and decided to stay put in Europe and focus on preparing for Tiszy and Stockholm instead. Not my original plan, but my new plan that I am now excited about.

I'm bummed to not be a part of the Olympic test event this weekend, but I'm at peace with my decision and know it is the right one. I wish everyone competing all the best this weekend! 

Jessica 

WTS Debut

After years of watching the big dance from my computer screen, I finally got the opportunity to be a part of it all at WTS Gold Coast, the third stop of the 2015 series. I was pretty excited to travel up the road to Southport, and it was so close to my homestay in Australia that I actually decided to bike there. Easiest travel day ever.

I was feeling pretty calm in the days leading up to the race, and with seven of the Dsquaders competing, it just felt like our group picked up and moved to a new training location. The race venue also brought back great memories from 2009, my first international competition at the Junior World Championships. This familiarity made pre-race seem extremely relaxed, and I was really excited to toe the line when Saturday rolled around.

I had a pretty good first lap of the swim, but between choosing the wrong line around the first buoy on the second lap, and getting in to a bit of a water battle in the last couple hundred meters, a gap opened and I ended up in the first chase pack. The bike course was mentally and physically demanding- quite technical and a different course from the race in 2009. Our group never caught the front group, despite being only 25 seconds down at one point, and we entered t2 about 50 seconds down on the lead group.

After somewhat poor T2 positioning in Mooloolaba and New Plymouth, I had a goal to be more aggressive in to and out of transition. I am happy to say I improved on this execution, and the excitement from doing so fueled me to a stupidly quick first kilometer on the run. You could call it a #YOLO moment that I seriously paid for a few kilometers later.

Although things were getting ugly, I kept fighting with everything I had. Andrea and Rachel came by and I hung with them as long as I could. Then Aileen and Lindsey came by and I ran with them, got dropped, got back on, got dropped, got back on...and then dropped. It felt pretty cool to be running with two training mates, and I am so happy for them with top 10's. Go Dsquad :) It was an exciting day to be a part of, with the USA ladies sweeping the podium (Well done Gwen, Sarah and Katie!)

I finished the day in 14th, and am proud of my effort and all the lessons I learned along the way. I tend to race with a "risk everything and go for it," attitude, which obviously isn't always the smartest approach. However, to quote T.S Elliot (without being corny), "Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go." As I become a more seasoned athlete, I hope to find a balance of risk-taking and sensibility with my execution on race day.

I am on the Gold Coast until early May, then I take off for China to race the Chengdu World Cup (where it all started for me in 2014). The following weekend I will go off to Japan for my second WTS in Yokohama.

Happiness...and finding it

"Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful."

I sit here in my apartment in New Plymouth, NZ as I write this, looking out my window at the serene city streets below and the beautiful ocean in the distance. This place, like many of the destinations I've traveled to in the past 15 months, is brilliant.

I'm coming off a race last weekend in Mooloolaba, Sunshine Coast of Australia (super brilliant place), and am really happy with my performance there. The end of 2014 was rocky, so to start 2015 off with a good day was really satisfying. I grit my teeth through the bumps, learned a whole hell of a lot, and dove into 2015 head first- a sensible and smarter head first.

I can't even believe how much I have grown since embarking on this journey as a full-time athlete at the beginning of 2014. And even more incredible to me is how much happiness I have found in the process. I am proud of the person I'm becoming, and I have sport, the people in my life, and the places I've been to thank for that. I am constantly learning, soaking up every experience good or bad, and moving forward with a deep, burning passion and love for what I am doing.

I race on Sunday in the New Plymouth World Cup, and am then back to the Gold Coast to rejoin the Dsquad for camp and race Gold Coast WTS in three weeks time. To all the people in my world- thank you for everything.

Xxx

Jess

Quick update: OFF TO OZ!

Camp #1 is nearly over, and it doesn't surprise me that the time flew by here in California. It has been a solid block of work thanks to my Dsquad teammates, Darren, our physio Lisa, and the nearly perfect weather Mother Nature decided to give us for the past seven weeks. No complaints!

I get on the big bird to Australia in five days for camp #2, which will convene on the Gold Coast. I went to Australia back in 2009 for the Junior World Championships (was that seriously 6 years ago?!), but had to rush back for school, so I am pretty eager to get back to a place that I remember being quite cool!

We did a local event this past weekend called the Tritonman- a draft legal race put on by the UCSD Triathlon team. It was great to get the cobwebs out, and go through the processes of racing again after  several months away. It was an opportunity to execute the race checklist, and a chance to see what things still need some work, and what things were done well.

On a mission after a little break in the penalty box. Oops!

The skill of reflecting on the race as a whole allows us to move forward having learned from the experience, whether it was complete crap or a brilliant day. In the midst of great races, there are still things that aren't done so well, and on really rough days there are still some positives somewhere (hopefully!) if you can remove the emotion and analyze the race objectively. With the feedback from the race, I am really looking forward to kicking things off at Mooloolaba on March 14- an opportunity to do a better job in some areas and continue building momentum in others. A big thanks to the UCSD Triathlon team and coach, Kim McCormack, for letting us be a part of the fun on Fiesta Island.

I won't be back in the USA until the end of May, so I am happy to break that long stint up with a visit from my Mom, who flies in to California tonight. I think she is happy to escape the polar East Coast to get some sunshine and beach time, and she might be happy to see me too ;)

Keep smiling!

Jess

And some more ramblings (Part 2)

I spent the remaining weeks of 2014 at home in Connecticut with my parents and sisters. The weather was a bit of a shock after the warm climate in Kenya, with freezing temperatures and no sign of the sun. However, as corny as it sounds, my family brings all the sunshine I will ever need into my life (awwwww.) We celebrated Hannah and Scarlet's super sweet 16th birthday on December 11th, with a pretty awesome surprise party. I adore my little sisters, and it was very special to be a part of that day. I soaked up my time in CT, knowing very well that the next 18 months will be full-on and I won't have an extended period of time at home in a long while.

Scarlet and Hannah- Sweet 16 party.

Spent a lot of time with this guy. :)

The conclusion of my time at home was our traditional Christmas celebration. Upon my return from Kenya, the consumeristic culture presented a polar opposite shift from the simplistic way of life I experienced in Africa. I tagged along for some shopping and really struggled to understand why we were buying things we didn't actually need. I chose to go the sentimental direction with my gifts, instead of just buying things to buy things. I desperately pleaded with my parents to not get me anything, knowing very well they would anyways.

 Christmas morning photo on the stairs

The greatest joy I had on Christmas came from how content I was, just being together, with no where to go, nothing to schedule, no phones, work or distractions. I did squeeze in my annual Christmas long run- but it didn't feel like work ;) I love Christmas, and it is probably my favorite day of the year.

A memorable quote on Christmas Eve from my Mom: "God bless whichever one of my daughters messes with our Christmas first." She said it of course, in the sweetest way possible. I think it's safe to say I will be spending Christmas in Middlebury, CT until I am quite old- and I don't mind! I love our traditions just as much as my Mom does, and there is something very special about spending the day together, just the six of us.



I left Connecticut on December 30 and flew to Arizona to visit Chris in Phoenix, where he has been training since November. We had five days together and it was the perfect end to my 2014 and start of my 2015. We did some training together, went to the movies a few times, had some yummy lunches at Whole Foods, and dinners out in Scottsdale. I had the best pizza of my life on our last night there, so that was a real treat! Mainly, it was just great to spend time with the love of my life- someone who always knows how to make me smile big, laugh hard, and has taught me to not take myself too seriously. 

We said our farewells and I hopped on a short flight to San Diego to kick off camp #1 with the Dsquad in Chula Vista, where it all began in 2014. I have been at camp now for nearly a month and I kick off my 2015 season with a fun event called the Tritonman in San Diego on February 21. Then I get on the big bird to Australia early March for camp on the Gold Coast.

Pre run session. Photo credit: Kevin Koresky

Mobility drills before the session. Photo credit: Kevin Koresky

In the thick of things with Lisa and Lindsey. Photo credit: Kevin Koresky

We have a really great crew here in Chula, and as always, I feel pretty lucky to be a part of the Dsquad. I am learning every day, chipping away at bigger goals one session at a time, and making sure to enjoy the journey too :) I really love what I am doing, and that passion is what keeps me rolling through the highs and lows. It is a pretty remarkable opportunity to pursue sport at a high level. I intend to make the absolute most of this process: exploring the depths of my body and mind to discover how good I can be as an athlete. I am really excited for 2015, and will keep you updated as it all unfolds. 

xoxo

Jess

2015 ramblings: Part 1

Current Location: Chula Vista, CA, Dsquad Camp

I am writing to you from the warmth of my amazing homestay here in sunny California. I can't say that I am missing the East Coast right now with the several feet of snow and negative temperatures. I do miss my family though...always.

The past few months have been quite eventful. I put the not so exciting Tongyeong and Hong Kong experiences behind me, and traveled to Iten, Kenya to the High Altitude Training Center with a growth mindset and curiosity to explore unchartered territory. 

                 Overlooking the beautiful Rift Valley.

For those without Geography knowledge, this is where I was in Africa!

I love traveling and immersing myself in a new environment, taking on the challenge of adjusting to a different culture. I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous to arrive in Kenya, especially since I was there for two weeks before any of the other Dsquaders traveled over. Thankfully, I latched on to the group of British runners that arrived at the same time as me, and made some great new friends. Also, as soon as I started chatting with the local runners and people in Iten, I felt at home. Of all places I visited in 2014, Kenya had the most impact.

With Stevie Stockton, an amazing British runner and friend.

Some little girls asked me to take their photo when I went for a walk. Adorable!

After the initial adjustment phase, I could see why Darren wanted us to be there. Living amongst elite runners, watching them in their daily environments, observing some of their key sessions, and experiencing a way of life that is so drastically different from ours was transformational as an athlete... and a person. 



Sport is something a lot of us choose to do, because we have the incredible opportunity of deciding it is what we want to pursue. For the Kenyan runners, sport is more than just something they do- it is their way of life and potentially, their way to a better life. Living at the training center alongside some of the local runners was educational in itself- their days are simple: run, eat, sleep, eat, run, eat, run, sleep. The power goes out, the wifi gets disconnected, but you soon realize that it is these luxuries that we have in our daily lives that are actually just distractions. Life goes on without checking twitter and Facebook every four minutes. People communicate without technology through face to face conversations, which are more rich and meaningful. Kenya taught me a lot about seeking simplicity in life, and simplicity as an athlete.

My closest friend from the trip- Timo Limo.

I met some amazing people including the one and only, Timo Limo. He is a father of two adorable little girls (who I got to meet, along with his wife!), and an 800 meter runner for Adidas. He led some of the strength/pilates classes at the training center, and I spent quite a bit of time chatting with him at meals and during rest time between sessions. He shared some great stories from his life in Kenya and his experiences as a competitive runner. He talked about overcoming injury, the power of the mind and staying positive through obstacles, and how everything you do mindfully and with intention, whether it is 10 minutes or two hours, is contributing to becoming a better athlete. His perspective was admirable, and his personality beamed with radiant happiness and appreciation every time I saw him. Meeting him was a highlight of my trip.

With Paul and Ali- two runners at High Altitude Training Center.

Ironically, I traveled home from Kenya just in time for Thanksgiving, and was probably more thankful than I have ever been on the holiday...with a deep appreciation for the things that really matter in life: health, family and everyone who loves you, making a difference by giving back and helping others, doing what you love, being happy. The rest is just fluff.


Part 2 coming soon.