An unexpected email...

Yesterday when I was traveling home from Kemah, I pulled out my phone and realized I had a new email. The subject was "Your Kemah finish line video." I instantly got excited to see the finish on video, and then felt disappointment when thinking about what happened shortly after. Video or not, it was the email itself that truly touched me. Having a complete stranger reach out to me and understand so well what I was going through is pretty incredible.

Matthew Murphy gave me permission to share the email.

Jessica,

I wanted to write you to provide you a moment that was a bright portion of your weekend.  I read your commentary on your blog, and I know that it is disappointing to you that you were disqualified not only emotionally but financially.  As someone that is a former professional athlete, I felt inclined to write you.  I felt that you "had" to write what you did, but it may not reflect how you really feel.  

I played golf from the time I was 6 years old until the day I was forced to retire from the pro tour at 28 because of injury. I took advantage of my talent and my career "in the moment" because it was the only life I had ever known.  When it was gone, I went through a huge depression because in an instant I lost the only identity I had ever known. I spent 2 years trying to find myself.  I want you to realize how blessed you are from today's modern technology and social media.  You will be able to show your children your career.  Sadly, I have very little pictures let alone video of my career. 

If I had a chance to do my career all over again, I would have done it so differently.  It is not always about the money or even the finishes as much as it is about competing with integrity and performing at your best while loving every second you are there.  I know that there are pressures on you to have results from your coaches and sponsors, but remember to carry the attitude of enjoying what you do and not letting your athletic career be "work".  The results will come in your favor because no matter what, we have the "drive" to train to be the best.

I was fortunate to find a new life outside of competitive sports. I also feel very fortunate that at 35 I got into triathlon even though I was never a swimmer, biker, or runner.  It is now my outlet to let my competitive juices flow for a good cause of raising awareness and providing help to families affected by birth defects similar to what my son was born with through the organization we founded www.shawnsanomaly.org.  I am fortunate to now see other athletes (both pro and age groupers) choose Shawn's Anomaly as their reason to race.  It really helps them put everything into perspective, and I am happy to just be a litte part of that. 

Please see the attached video of your finish!  I hope you have a great season. 

Sincerely,

Matthew Murphy

I can't thank Matthew enough for reaching out to me and giving me perspective on sport, and what matters most. This is something I love about triathlon- the people you meet along the way and the lessons you can learn from them. I am in communication now with him and plan to get involved with Shawn's Anomaly. Racing for a cause is something I have always wanted to do, and this seems like the perfect opportunity. 

Jessica

Kemah Tri

This weekend was a whirlwind of a trip. I made the decision to travel to Houston to race the Onurmark Kemah Triathlon, my first non draft race in over two years. After going to Florida to start my season early March, and being extremely disappointed with a bad result and a DNF (due to illness), I was eager to get back out racing. Since March, I have done a few crits and a TT in Boulder, and have thoroughly enjoyed racing bikes. I have seen fitness improvements across all three disciplines, and gained confidence from some great training sessions the past few weeks.

Kyle Leto and Kevin Collington both traveled from Boulder to Kemah to race, so it was nice to have friends and training partners to hang with. On Saturday the weather was okay, with just some light rain as we previewed the course late morning. There was a chance of thunderstorm and rain in the forecast, but the weather really seemed fine most of the day, and the thought of rain becoming an issue was not on my mind. Then, after an early dinner with Kevin, Kyle and Lauren and Barrett Brandon, we stepped outside and it was a torrential downpour with nasty thunder and lightning bolts. Our 50m dash to the car left us looking like we had just taken a shower. The rain continued to fall and we received emails that night explaining possible “Cancellation policies” from the race director. 

Race morning, 4 a.m. wake up (ouch!), breakfast routine, coffee, pack bag, receive email that bike is cancelled, boo.

Instead of sulking, I tried to remain optimistic, something that Grant always reminds me. “Focus on the positive, focus on the positive.” 

Everything was delayed a bit because of the change from a triathlon to an aquathlon. We put our racing shoes at the swim exit because there was a 3/4 mile run to t1 after the swim, and we basically would just be running through transition anyways. Our race belts were in transition, and I clipped mine around the bar on top of where my number was positioned (892). We got on the boat around 7 a.m. and started around 8.

It was a non wetsuit swim for the pros, which I was happy about. The water was pretty rough, and it was a small women's field so I ended up alone. I chose a line to shore that may not have been the best, as I was pretty far away from the buoys, but it seemed more realistic to me at the time because of the currents. 

Swim start.

I exited the swim and was in 2nd behind Lauren Brandon by a substantial amount, but felt good as I put my shoes on and started running towards transition. And then I reached the pro transition rack and my number was no where to be seen. I searched and searched, and after about a minute of waisting my time, I somehow assumed that since there was a race belt exactly where my number had been, that someone may have taken mine by accident. I thought "Oh well, not a big deal, I will just take theirs." That may sound silly, but we all know how we get when we race. Some things seem rational when maybe they aren't. Well, that turned out to be the reason I got DQed. But if I had run without a race number I would have been DQed as well. I am not completely familiar with non draft rules, so that is my own fault and I should make sure I learn them. However, my race belt was missing, and that was completely out of my control. 

I got onto the run and felt great. I ran to the front around mile 3, but knew that D'Ann was probably charging from behind. After catching Lauren I started feeling progressively worse, but that is how it should be, right? ;) I focused on keeping my cadence up, and my arms relaxed, and as I rounded the last corner and saw D'Ann behind, I knew that I had the win in the bag. She was closing hard and ended up finishing 10 seconds behind me, so congrats to her on a great run.

Grabbing the tape felt GREAT. It has been 4 years since that happened last- Collegiate Nationals in 2009. Even though it was an aquathlon, and even though I ended up getting DQed a few seconds later, I was reminded how much fun it is to cross the finish line and feel happy. It isn't necessarily about winning, it's about putting out your absolute best effort on the day and being happy with the result. A win is a win, DQ or not, it was a great day for me.

I was upset for about 5 minutes until I realized a few things:

1) I just had fun racing.

2) I ran a 36:55, my fastest split ever.

3) It is April, and there is plenty more racing to come.

4) I love triathlon again.

A big thanks to my coach Grant Holicky for encouraging me to do some local racing the past few weeks. It brought me back to a place of enjoying racing, which I was able to transfer into my experience at Kemah. Also thanks to Off the Front Multisport, Rudy Project and Breeze Bars for your support! 

Now I have my DNF and DQ out of the way for 2013, and I am ready to kick the rest of the season's butt.

Jess

My return to Non Draft Racing

After a few weekends of bike racing, I am off to Texas this Friday for my first non draft race in over two years! I will be racing the Kemah Triathlon on Sunday in Houston, and I am SO excited. As much as I love draft legal and still am focusing on that style of racing, I am thrilled to be back on my TT bike. I did the Haystack TT this past weekend in Boulder and had an absolute blast, further confirming my decision to get back to some non draft racing this year. I will post next after Kemah!

Haystack TT 2013.

My first bike race!

This past weekend I competed in my first bike race in Boulder. I have been riding now for five years, but there is still a great deal of room for improvement as a bike racer- handling skills, tactics, cornering, efficiency etc.

I spent Wednesday-Friday at the Olympic Training Center in Colorado Springs and had a great week of training with Grant Holicky, Kristen Peterson and Race Swimming. I didn't think the week could get any better, but man was I wrong. Bike racing is FUN!

I was a little nervous and scared headed into the race, because I know crits can be dangerous and I have had friends who have crashed and broken bones.  More than anything though, I was excited. It is pretty cool to do something that scares the heck out of you. If the picture below is any indication, I had an absolute blast riding my bike that day.

How I feel about bike racing- all smiles. Thanks Ryan Wakat for the photo.

The race course was a small loop (about a half mile) in a research park just across the street from my apartment (perfect!). I couldn't help but think about Rhianna's new single "Stay." If you are unfamiliar with the lyrics, listen here.

Anyways, around and around and around we went, and I attacked a few times, and smiled, and thought 

"Holy crap, I love riding my bike!" I don't even know where I ended up at the finish (mainly because I didn't know where the finish was), but everyone started sprinting and I followed.

If there was a conversation between me and my legs during these final few moments it would go like this:

Legs: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? You already sprinted too many times in this race, I do not want to sprint again.

Me: GO LEGS GO! Man up.

Legs: Maybe you should have saved us for the final sprint.

Me: Maybe, but I was getting antsy and attacking is too much fun.

Legs: You learned for next time.

Me: Probably not.

Anyways, I am racing again this weekend in Louisville, and I simply cannot wait! 

Jessica

The (not so great) start of 2013

It has been a rough two weeks. I am back in Boulder now after ten days in Florida, where I ventured to kick off my 2013 racing season in Clermont. I planned to race Clermont (sprint) as a tune up for the Sarasota Pan Am Cup the following weekend, and use these two early season races as a gauge for where I am at after a great training block this winter.  I was very excited as March approached because it has been awhile since I have started my season so early in the year due to injury and illness.

About a week before I left for Florida I got very sick- I had a 104 fever, a sore throat and a gnarly cough. I called my Mom in the middle of the night (lets be honest, we all want our moms when we are sick), and she said "Jess, are you sure your fever is 104? You would feel like you were dying." As I lay in bed, sheets soaked in sweat, my mom encouraged me: "at least your body is fighting it off!" I really just needed a hug.

I spent an entire day on the couch, watching marathons of Two and a Half Men (great show!), tried to hydrate and eat, and started to feel better over the course of the weekend. By the time Wednesday rolled around, I was packing up my things, feeling more human, and eager to race on Saturday. The one positive of being sick already was that I knew I couldn't get contaminated from the germs on the plane.

I ran through my normal pre race routine on Friday, had a nice dinner with Stephen Wright (team director of Off the Front Multisport), and attempted sleeping. I laid awake coughing the entire night, but remained positive that my body would miraculously decide to feel better come race day. Long story short- I toed the line, gave it all I had, and finished. I was happy that I made the effort, but my body was not, and I continued feeling worse over the course of the next few days. I went to an Urgent Care in Florida where the doctor concluded that I had pneumonia, and then I was put on antibiotics which proceeded to drain every ounce of energy out of me the following week leading in to Sarasota. But once again, I toed the line. About half way through the second lap of the swim I started coughing, throwing up fluids and overheating. I pulled the plug and decided that my health is way more important right now than trying to race.

I learned a lot these past two weeks:

1) It doesn't matter how fit you are if you aren't healthy enough to race.
2) Getting sick is part of life.
3) Having support from family and friends is instrumental in overcoming hardship.
4) Listening to your body is more important than anything.

I plan to regroup, figure out what is going on with my body, chat with my coach about the rest of the season, and continue working hard towards my goals. Congratulations to all the racers these past two weekends- there were some great performances! It was really cool to see the Elite Development Races take place, and there is certainly a great deal of talent emerging in the sport.

A little lyrics from my new favorite song by Imagine Dragons:

I could of gave up then but

                                           Then again I couldn’t have ’cause

I’ve traveled all this way for something

Now take it in but don’t look down

And I know it’s hard when you’re falling down

                                       And it’s a long way up when you hit the ground

Get up now, get up, get up now.

Best of luck to everyone as the 2013 season is now underway.

Jess

Why you should eat Breeze Bars

I have been an athlete for as long as I can remember, and this means I have tried pretty much every energy bar out there. I competed in so many sports growing up; swimming, soccer, golf, tennis, dance, running etc., and energy bars were a convenient snack to grab in case I got hungry. I really just loved eating them because some of them tasted like cookies, but my Mom never knew that is how my sister and I felt. She thought we knew that we were eating healthy snacks to allow us to perform to the best of our ability. Honestly, growing up I had no idea about nutrition. I just wanted to eat anything that tasted like a cookie because my mom would never let us have them.

Throughout high school, I became a bit more aware of what I was eating, and how I was feeling after consuming certain foods. I saw an allergy doctor because I was having stomach problems when I started running my sophomore year. He determined that I had a gluten intolerance, and was sensitive to a few other foods, but I really never made an effort to cut anything out of my diet. I didn't have a full blown allergy to anything, so why eliminate it? I loved pasta and bread, and as a growing teenager, I pretty much ate anything in sight. My mom always stressed the importance of eating a balanced diet, so every meal was coupled with fruit or veggies. And throughout high school, I kept eating bars. I would always bring them to school, and began to realize that they might be the reason for my stomach problems (as I was consuming them at the end of the school day before running). 

When I started doing triathlon halfway through high school, nutrition became even more important. I was getting up at 5 a.m. a few days a week to get a workout in, going to school from 730 a.m. to 230 p.m. , then squeezing in another workout before swim practice from 4 p.m. to 6 p.m.. Then I would head home to battle hours of homework and studying. Eating right was essential in getting through the days and performing well in school and sports. But even still, I never truly understood nutrition and I never found that perfect bar that would give me energy while keeping my stomach happy.

Now, several years wiser, nutrition is a huge part of my life. Not only do I love eating, but I love putting food into my body that I know will make me healthy and strong. Being in Boulder makes this relatively easy, and I am so lucky to be in a place where health and wellness are so strongly valued.

About seven months ago I joined the Apex triathlon crew in Boulder, and started working with Grant Holicky. This was when I was introduced to Breeze Bars for the first time- a company that Grant's wife, Breeze started a few years ago. I had heard about the bars around town, but had never taken the time to try one or see what they were all about. 

I slowly began adding them to my routine- first I started using them on long rides, then I tried having them before swims, then I took the chance of eating them before running. And finally, after years and years of consuming bars, I found my prince charming. Being able to run shortly after consuming a bar (with no stomach problems) was nothing short of a miracle for me. I thought for sure that it was just beginner's luck, but again and again, Breeze Bars came through. They are now something I can rely on to fuel me and keep my tummy happy. Sigh of relief! 

My favorite flavor- Chocolate Cranberry. Maple Almond is close in second.

I recently started working for Breeze Bars in their gluten free kitchen on Sunday mornings. I make bars with Breeze and a few other employees, and absolutely love every minute. I get to see all of the quality nutrition going into the bars, and see that the ingredients are truly what you read on the label. I can see why these work for me and so many other athletes- it is all goodness! 

For so long, training nutrition has been hit or miss. Some days I don't have stomach problems and feel great, and other days are just miserable. Sure, there are other factors to contribute to how we feel during training, but ever since I implemented Breeze Bars into my routine, my training has truly been more consistent. It is a refreshing change to focus solely on my training, and not whether my stomach will decide to rebel. 

BREEZE BARS: EZ nutrition that will make your stomach happy, and probably you happy as well!

Get a Breeze Bar! Or 2, or a box. :)

Jessica

Moving forward...

After nearly two months without a post, I thought it was a good time for a life update. I just got back to Colorado a week ago after a month in CT with family.

Since Thanksgiving quite a bit has happened.

I graduated college at the end of December. Although I am not officially "walking" until May, I am done with all of my classes (yay!). It was easier for my family to travel out to Colorado in the Spring, so I decided to postpone my graduation ceremony until then. It will be great to have all of them out here at the beginning of May for some fun. They have only visited once, and I truly can't wait to show them more of the reasons why I love it here.

My amazing and beautiful Grandma passed away on January 4th after battling cancer for nearly six months. This was a very hard time, as my family is extremely close and my Grandma has been so present in my life since I was born. Every summer I would spend weeks down at her beach house in Rhode Island, and celebrate my birthday (4th of July) with family there. I have incredible memories with her that I will cherish forever. She taught me to always believe in myself, share love with others, and smile even through the hard times. My life will never be the same without her, but I plan to practice what she taught me everyday, and find comfort in knowing she is watching over me always.

Twelve grandkids+ Papa celebrating my Grandma's life. 

I spent the past month in Connecticut- I always go home for the holidays, and I stayed longer to be with family through my Grandma's passing. Through difficult times in life, you really gain a greater appreciation for loved ones, and the past few weeks have been a testament to this. It was a bag of emotions: happiness when reflecting on our times with my Grandma, sadness realizing that there won't be more times together, comfort knowing she is no longer in pain, anger that we don't have more time etc. As my uncle put it, "There are four steps of grieving: sorrow, denial, anger and depression." I am definitely experiencing all of these, and as I come across photos, cards, gifts and other trinkets in my apartment, I am constantly reminded of her. I feel so blessed and lucky to have had such an amazing women in my life.

Things have been going well since I got back to Colorado. Training is going really well and I am doing some freelance writing for Competitor magazine and Triathlete magazine, as well as babysitting for a few families in Boulder. I like to stay busy!

Overall, I am in a good place. I have amazing people around me everyday in the Apex triathlon crew, a supportive coach who believes in me, a family that loves me, and friends who make me happy and encourage me to have fun and embrace life. I don't really know what lays ahead for me in life, but I think that is part of the fun. Life is an adventure and I plan to wake up everyday with an optimistic attitude, work hard towards my goals, and smile. 2013 is going to be great.

:)

Jessica