The past few months haven't been the most fun, but I've chosen, yet again, to learn from the obstacles in my life verse being bitter about them. Not to say that has been easy....at all.
Leading in to Chengdu and Yokohama I was in lifetime best shape after making the decision with Darren to stay put on the Gold Coast for the final phase before these races. It wasn't an easy phase- training was hard, the squad was gone, and I had to create my own energy every day in training. It was a good test both physically and mentally, and I'm proud of the work I put in, and the athlete I became in the process. I had done everything I could to prepare for competition, and I felt more ready than ever to execute. This is the best feeling before a race, and I was extremely calm and relaxed....at peace.
Long story short, I got quite sick shortly after my arrival in China and had to withdraw from Chengdu. I was gutted, but quickly directed my focus to the following weekend- another opportunity to demonstrate all the hard work I had put in since WTS Gold Coast.
I started the race in Japan, but withdrew on the bike when I couldn't keep fluids down. Devastated.
When I arrived in France to try and prepare for London, I knew something was still very wrong. A week later I was on a plane back to CT, and a few days after that I got test results back that were positive for Campylobacter, a nasty bacterial infection that had been swarming in my gut for nearly four weeks.
It's hard to explain the emotions I experienced following all of this. When you invest yourself completely in a preparation, and the build up is to nothing at all, it's heart breaking. As I sat in my room at home recovering, day by day, I felt the fitness I had worked so hard for slipping away. With that, I saw my plans of competing at the test event in Rio diminishing as well.
So, when it looked like I wouldn't be in shape to really compete in Rio, and not just participate, I pulled my name from the list and decided to stay put in Europe and focus on preparing for Tiszy and Stockholm instead. Not my original plan, but my new plan that I am now excited about.
I'm bummed to not be a part of the Olympic test event this weekend, but I'm at peace with my decision and know it is the right one. I wish everyone competing all the best this weekend!
Jessica
